The Signifigance of the Heron

Great Blue Heron on rock

Charlene on Rock

It is a quiet Saturday morning as I face this blank page trying to decide how to put into words some of the things I have learned in this very powerful week. For the past months there has been a lot of construction going on in my home and in my being. The house is out of my control because I am not doing the work. My contractor is an artist in remodeling and I will not rush him. I have learned that he certainly knows what he is doing and so I give him free reign on his craft in my home. He is the same man who did the work last spring on my garden and look how that turned out. The poor garden is buried under two feet of snow and crisscrossed with paths designed by little fur feet.

There is also a lot of construction going on in me. One of the things I did recently was to change my picture I used to identify myself on WordPress. I had a picture of my beloved Bishop who passed in November. I changed it only to represent the change I am feeling in myself. The heron is my favorite bird because of many reasons. But it is an amazing bird when you look at it. The have the most delicate legs and look like they would never get off the ground. They also are not particularly beautiful in comparison to other birds…..until they take flight. Then you see the strength and ability. It takes my breath every time I see one in flight close up. I know in my heart they are my spirit totem.

From Jamie Sams “Medicine Cards”: Heron medicine is the power of knowing the self by discovering the gifts and facing challenges. It is the ability to accept all feelings and opinions without denying any emotion or thought. Heron asks that they follow their intuition and begin the empowering journey of self-realization.

Charlene in flight

Charlene in flight

 

I was in love with the heron long before I started in this section of my journey. I am acutely aware that I have been on this path for a very long time without being aware of it. This became apparent to me when I was doing some quiet time thinking and realized how everything I have done in my life in some way has led me to this point. I know that is a moron’s comment. Of course I am here because I am. But the difference is before; I had no idea what I AM meant.

Charlene

To have less fear of judgment and ridicule has set me free to fly. I have much to learn still about protection and boundaries, but I am willing to learn and comprehend. Before, I had a huge block with those topics. There was much that was self-perpetuated that was stopping me and blocking me and yet I have kept on. Much like the impossibility of the heron to get off the ground, I have struggled but took flight.

I was also very focused on an end result. That is upbringing and being a teacher. Everything is measurable in some way and so I focused on a destination with a tangible result. I am not saying that I do not look for achievement or outcomes for myself. The difference is they are not the driving force. This frees me up to switch lanes or sample freely all that is presented. I have come to understand that what is supposed to stick resonates with me. I trust that sensation in my gut much more than ever.

Today the sun is out and the air is brilliant with sparkles of snow crystals shimmering in the air. It is very cold still and the ground is frozen and covered. But I know, I can feel it, there is growth as the light is elongating and the color shifts. I see more animals out and birds in the air, which is a true sign that spring is coming. I honor many of the old Wiccan or Pagan holidays and some Christian ones too. But this season is one of my favorite Pagan ones. Imbolc, which is in Christian tradition, Candlemas. It signifies the increasing light of spring arriving. It celebrates the birthing of lambs and actually means ‘ewes are with milk’. It is the beginning of the transition to spring and growth. It is very significant for me especially this year.Flying heron

Nightmare in Home Repairs

So tonight was a real nightmare in home repairs. I knew this project was going to be difficult but had no idea how much of an issue it was going to be. The first part of the project was to tear down and then replace some stuff throughout the house. It started small…. But does any house repair remain small? I am beginning to think not.

old basement pipesutility rip out

So today was supposed to be the big downstairs repair job. They were going to remove the rest of the stack and finish the new clean out and other piping. Then they were going to rip out the upstairs shower and vanity and ….my biggest fear….the remaining toilet. To a woman, the toilet, (say it in French. It is so much more civilized) the toilet is sacred. I have a phobia of not having access to a toilet. When they turned the water off at work one morning and said it was going to be off for HOURS….. I left in a panic. I was not coming back either until it was on. My boss thought I was nuts. I was as serious as I could be. I was quoting DOH regulations to her because she wanted to dock my pay when I left….. “F-you, lady…I am management, dock this!”

So tonight, I called my husband on the way home to say I was on my way. I was about half way home. I had called John the Contractor earlier who had promised me the water would be on and a toilet would be working by 5pm. It was after 5PM.  No problem.  My husband however, informed me this was not the case. John had left the house to go do something and was going to return later.

Now I have to digress into a not so nice situation. It is humorous only after the fact. When I get stressed, my plumbing in my body quits. It causes a lot of issues and discomfort. I have remedies and what usually happens is when I relax, everything relaxes and I get over my problem in a hurry. I have as of late had some real close calls and when I say relax…I am sure you get the picture. Well, because of all the stress lately, I have been bound up for the whole week causing me great distress. So…. I am so stupid….last night, I took a dose of my remedy, which usually works by the morning. Ok, truth, I took a double dose to make sure it would work. It did not. All day…. It did not. Until I was on my way home from work. So I practically took out the car in front of me and made a bee-line for the local Burger King.

Afterwards, I headed for home and pulled up to the house to find trucks parked in front. I opened up the garage door and the garage was filled with stuff……and water. I thought F**K, now what. An unknown gentleman comes out and moves the stuff and says to go ahead and pull in. There is a drain in the garage and the water had already dissipated, but you could tell it was higher. I walk in to the new utility room which is off the garage and there are three unknown gentlemen plumbers holding buckets under pipes. Ohhhhhh no. The new floor just put in where they had jack hammered the floor was wet and they had put down heavy cardboard to protect it. The water was still coming out of one pipe. Someone was up in the ceiling with a torch. I was so upset, I just went upstairs.  They had put the existing toilet back in place on boards and said it would be fine…… once they got the leaks fixed. They still had the water turned off.  I was in a panic and so upset I just wanted to cry.

So they finished up, turned on the water and called it good. And they left without a good bye. My contractor John showed up about a minute after they left. I was so upset I was crying. The floor was a mess, there was stuff all over. John is meticulous and picks up everything when he is done. He calls the owner of the plumbing company and tells him to get over and take a look. So he did. He comes upstairs and tells me not worry about the dog. I am….. what? Seems, my little Browny bit one of his guys and bad enough he went to the urgent care. Little baby boy bit this big lug? He must have deserved it. But the owner said it was ok because the guy did not say where and who the dog was. I looked at him and said, your guy was in my house and must have done something menacing because no one else has had problems. Well, not so, I find out. This is Browny ’s third chomp. John and his prime worker have had no problems. But when new guys come in, Browny gets nervous unless you say hello. This jerk , I found out, was running to the stairs to grab a bucket to help with the leaks. I know Browny gets upset with quick aggressive movements. So now I am not sure where all this is going to go. I am afraid one of these clowns will hurt him or I will have a law suit.

So at this point I am a mess. I was supposed to have a session with Mardrag and I look forward to this all week. I had to call her to tell her I had to cancel. I sat down to catch my breath and use the existing facility. Well, they for some reason have it up on boards and secured, but my legs are short. This is now a real challenge that only another woman would get.  My husband and I were figuring out what to do for dinner. We have not used the new stove and microwave so we decided to use the microwave and heat some left overs. John said he and Shelby were going to clean up and scoot. But no…. he decided to do some work on installing a fixture so they could see better in the downstairs. Shelby kept turning the power off and on. And of course it was the power to the same outlet as my computer so I could not get on line and we would be in the dark and then not, then in the dark and then not.  It was not fun

So the house is quiet finally. I am exhausted. The kids are worn out and in their beds. Browny AKA “Jaws” is dreaming of his next attack. Cookie loves men, the little slut, and so she is dreaming of the next snuggle. John often stoops to pick her up while he is upstairs working. I am afraid he will come take her…. Only I know his wife is allergic. He had small circus dogs like ours. It helps that he can get a doggie fix when he is here. He even lets them out to run and poop. He is a great guy. I have yet to meet I John I did not love…..and that can be said for all types of johns….. Ha. I did not even realize what I wrote until I did it. Time for bed.

kids