It is a quiet Saturday morning as I face this blank page trying to decide how to put into words some of the things I have learned in this very powerful week. For the past months there has been a lot of construction going on in my home and in my being. The house is out of my control because I am not doing the work. My contractor is an artist in remodeling and I will not rush him. I have learned that he certainly knows what he is doing and so I give him free reign on his craft in my home. He is the same man who did the work last spring on my garden and look how that turned out. The poor garden is buried under two feet of snow and crisscrossed with paths designed by little fur feet.
There is also a lot of construction going on in me. One of the things I did recently was to change my picture I used to identify myself on WordPress. I had a picture of my beloved Bishop who passed in November. I changed it only to represent the change I am feeling in myself. The heron is my favorite bird because of many reasons. But it is an amazing bird when you look at it. The have the most delicate legs and look like they would never get off the ground. They also are not particularly beautiful in comparison to other birds…..until they take flight. Then you see the strength and ability. It takes my breath every time I see one in flight close up. I know in my heart they are my spirit totem.
From Jamie Sams “Medicine Cards”: Heron medicine is the power of knowing the self by discovering the gifts and facing challenges. It is the ability to accept all feelings and opinions without denying any emotion or thought. Heron asks that they follow their intuition and begin the empowering journey of self-realization.
I was in love with the heron long before I started in this section of my journey. I am acutely aware that I have been on this path for a very long time without being aware of it. This became apparent to me when I was doing some quiet time thinking and realized how everything I have done in my life in some way has led me to this point. I know that is a moron’s comment. Of course I am here because I am. But the difference is before; I had no idea what I AM meant.
To have less fear of judgment and ridicule has set me free to fly. I have much to learn still about protection and boundaries, but I am willing to learn and comprehend. Before, I had a huge block with those topics. There was much that was self-perpetuated that was stopping me and blocking me and yet I have kept on. Much like the impossibility of the heron to get off the ground, I have struggled but took flight.
I was also very focused on an end result. That is upbringing and being a teacher. Everything is measurable in some way and so I focused on a destination with a tangible result. I am not saying that I do not look for achievement or outcomes for myself. The difference is they are not the driving force. This frees me up to switch lanes or sample freely all that is presented. I have come to understand that what is supposed to stick resonates with me. I trust that sensation in my gut much more than ever.
Today the sun is out and the air is brilliant with sparkles of snow crystals shimmering in the air. It is very cold still and the ground is frozen and covered. But I know, I can feel it, there is growth as the light is elongating and the color shifts. I see more animals out and birds in the air, which is a true sign that spring is coming. I honor many of the old Wiccan or Pagan holidays and some Christian ones too. But this season is one of my favorite Pagan ones. Imbolc, which is in Christian tradition, Candlemas. It signifies the increasing light of spring arriving. It celebrates the birthing of lambs and actually means ‘ewes are with milk’. It is the beginning of the transition to spring and growth. It is very significant for me especially this year.