Is this a test?

long shot

This past couple of weeks has been extremely difficult for a friend and mentor of mine. She has been quite ill. Another bird of a feather too has been having trouble sleeping due to his constant pain. There are many people I know who are having issues of physical pain and lack of sleep because of their discomfort. I am not sure what is going on  and I cannot help but wonder if this is in part due to global issues and the negative energy emanating from the strife overseas.

I know chronic pain well as I have Psoriatic Arthritis. It hit me very hard this weekend, rendering me unable to walk. When I went to bed, I was fine and I actually got up at one point in the night without difficulty. In the morning, I could not stand on my right ankle as the pain was excruciating. It was all swollen. I did nothing to cause this. I have never had a flare like this and in never in that ankle. I made my way through the day and hobbled like an old woman. Oh wait, I am an old woman. It kept me up most of the night, but this morning it is better, which is good because I have to work this Sunday.

Why does pain seem so prevalent now? The severity of the medical situations that I am aware of  seems to be pretty acute. One person I know has ovarian cancer and several of my coworkers are recently diagnosed with breast cancer. Another coworker just lost her 45 year old husband to cancer. Coworkers are falling and hurting themselves and several are just ill or suffering with chronic pain. It would be interesting to see if there was a way to measure the level of pain in the world right now to see if this is a global phenomenon. Is humanity feeling the discord and suffering caused by the monstrosities occurring in the Middle East?

One theory is that this is a test. As the possibility of global war looms in the future, and as the Quickening approaches, is this a test to see how strong we are? In my opinion, there is nothing more frightening than losing your health or battling with constant pain. If a force wanted to spread terror and weaken their enemy, making them suffer with illness would do it. And negative energy spreads like wildfire, much more easily than positive. We are mentally wired that way unfortunately.

But the strong will survive. I watch my friend with the ovarian cancer joke and laugh as if nothing is happening to her. This is her second round of chemo for it. She did not lose her hair this time. What strength and power she has and it humbles me. We need to focus on the survivors and absorb their power and strength. It gives me courage when I hear of the perseverance and moxie that people demonstrate in the line of fire of chronic and acute illnesses. We need to sing of these heroes. As a collective, we need to embrace and honor these warriors and change the fear to fortitude. We need to hold and comfort our wounded and infirmed and bolster their will power to continue to live without fear or shame. We need to create a shield to protect us from the epidemic of depression which I believe is a major contributor to illness. We need to rise against this onslaught and broadcast positive and healthy energy. Everyone can contribute to this cause.

To my friends and to the world, get better and well. We need you all.






Snake oil and an open mind


I am very excited about the next leg of my journey. I am not going to be able to discuss much of what is planned because I am entering this phase with an open but blank mind. And that is what I want to talk about tonight: Not having an open mind. It is something that permeates our society. We are not open in truth to new possibilities until we are either so desperate or we are sold by persuasion. The art of following your gut is totally under rated and dismissed in the educational process of our western world. Our children do not come out of school equipped well with critical thinking or thinking outside the box. It was one of the things that stopped me from continuing to teach in a formal education program. “Do it this way and this way only” is the mantra of the current education system.

Unfortunately, we also learn conformity in our adult life. “Look this way, perform that way only.” I have never done well with that. But I also have never done well with failure. And so when I saw my life headed for a point of no return, I took a chance. I was not really ready or willing to go to my first appointment with a Physical Therapist, but I was also desperate for healing in what I thought was only physical pain. Ok, that’s what I thought. I think the thought of living with the pain I had and knowing that I was getting worse was horrifying to me. I also think I was tired of the years of current medical practice of medicate the symptoms and produce a whole lot more, which then produces a need for medication….on it went. I wanted off and I was willing to step out of the normal practice. I really had limited information on alternative medicine or practices. Where had I been?

This also produced for me a strong obsession to learn. I have no shame about this. To want to learn is nothing to feel bad about in any way.  So this is one of the new things I have learned: I am done apologizing for being true to who I am. I am very smart and like a hound dog, when I get on to something I dig in deep. So, this whole new concept to me of alternative medicine grabbed me like a rope and pulled me in. What a wonderful experience this has been.

I have come across a few vendors selling snake oil. But I also have met and worked with some brilliant practitioners. I am very lucky. For the first time in a very long time, I am feeling like there is a deep seated reason for all this. And if I had never taken a chance, I would never had the opportunity to learn about some wonderful things which, also for the first time in a while, I feel have a reason to know. I have been dissuaded in this pursuit and yet, I still pursued. And the reason was I felt it in my gut to continue.  I had an open mind and a curious mind. It resonates with me like a perfect pitch.

So as I step off again to travel to a new place in my journey, I am refreshed and my spirit is back. Where I am headed I do not know. I just know it will be ok. There is a lot of work ahead of me, but the knowledge that I have absorbed in the past year is bolstering me onward. Stayed tune.