Lost hours

Goddess of the garden   Goddess of the Garden

Today we all lost an hour. Would not matter but I am sensitive to the switch to daylight savings time. I notice the subtle shifts in the light. It is good because it means spring. But it tweaks with my internal clock.  I think it is a stupid practice we need to stop participating in. No one needs DST any more. I realize that the benefit was to lessen the consumption of energy by being up at the optimum amount of sunlight. But my work day does not shift so I will be back to driving to work in the dark. I do not like that. I will enjoy coming home in day light and I will be able to spend some time outside with my doggies. But sitting outside in subzero temperatures does not facilitate that lately. It has been ridiculously cold and it seems spring will never come. But losing that hour made me think this morning. It struck me how many hours I have lost.

This year is a tough one for me. I am facing turning 60 in June. I am acutely aware how lucky I am to be able to say that. My mother could not. She did not live long enough. I have friends who did not make 60 either, so I am blessed. I remember my grandmother’s 65th birthday and how she looked and acted. I thought she was so old. I do not feel old most days. The truth is that the number frightens me more than the physical reality. Life is such a game and how you play it makes all the difference.

It is hard to express the need I feel to accelerate my learning and participation in activities that help me grow.  “Just be” has never sat well with me. I have too many lost hours. I won’t get them back but I can do something different moving forward. I need to cherish every hour. If I spend an hour in quiet reflection or meditation, that is not wasted time. And to sit in the garden is time spent connecting with the Source. Time wasters are arguments and discord and working hard at useless endeavors. I want my remaining time to be resourceful and productive. I want my footprint to leave a lasting impression in some manner, hopefully a good one. I cannot stop the cellular progression of my body and I accept that. But I do have control of wasted and lost hours.

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