Lacking lack

Inner guidance is constantly available. There’s never a time— never has been, never will be— when you can’t get inner assistance. For anything.

Grout, Pam (2013-01-28). E-Squared: Nine Do-It-Yourself Energy Experiments That Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality (Kindle Locations 1473-1474). Hay House Insights. Kindle Edition.

I am in the middle of reading this above mentioned book. It is terrific and I highly recommend it. If you are like me and are a “need to see it to believe it” kind of person, this is a fun book. When you think you need to prove things to make them so, you end up in a difficult situation as I have found. Some things are just based on faith. I do not see nor have I been to France, but I know it is there. So it goes with Spirit and then even with ourselves. Having faith that the power within us is there, when you never have had much faith in yourself to begin with is difficult work…but completely possible.

I used to be butt poor and always in a constant state of robbing Peter to pay Paul. I was very good at it. Our situation only got worse when we needed it to improve. It was because I came at my world from lack. In other words, I was so focused on what we did not have I just got more of the same. When my husband and I decided to toss in the towel of getting by, we really went into debt and went back to school. The decision was turned to improvement and not lack. We decided that it was the best course because we were going to improve our capabilities to make more income. But the real reason was to finish dreams. He always wanted to be a teacher, and I was and wanted to continue in that realm. We came at it from not what we lacked, but what we desired. And so it became our path. We headed for a goal, not trying to fill in holes. And we were successful.

I am going to climb up on my soapbox for a second in honor of teachers. This is the week back for most in our area. People think teaching is a breeze. You have a ton of vacation time. You only work until 2 or 3. And how hard can it be? When you are new especially, you spend most of your vacation time going to workshops and working with your mentor on your curriculum. Everyone is required to take so many hours of professional development. This is something that other careers do not require. I found it amazing that nurses for example do not have any requirements for keeping their licenses other than infection control class every two years. As a teacher, to maintain your license, you have to take seminars and classes forever. It is an expectation that you support some student club or activity. This consumes great amounts of time off. Forget the idea that you get out at 3pm. Most teachers also start their day in their classroom by 6:30 around here. If you want to teach in a public school in NY, you have to complete a Masters level program within five years of finishing your Bachelors. And then you have the pleasure of sitting for multiple comprehensive exams. If you get all the way to the end of the requirements, and you blow one of these final requirements, it is all for not. You are done. No license, no teaching. Nurses can obtain a license after an eighteen month program and call it good for their career. And here is a kicker most people do not know. One of the requirements to complete the professional (the last level of license) is to work as a teacher. So you have to find a school willing to take a provisional licensed teacher and give you a mentor and put you through the final steps of the program.  Even subs are required to be licensed for certain assignments. And around here, subbing pays around $10.00 an hours for the most common assignments. Whahoo, try paying student loans back on that. And it is extremely competitive because there is such an influx teachers. You have to build a relationship to get called constantly.

Both my husband and I are fully licensed and actually we both have dual licenses with all the bells and whistles. It was a struggle especially for my husband because he was in a very competitive field and there were absolutely no opportunities for him to finish his requirements here. But a job did come his way and he actually lived over 200 miles away for a year to finish his first year. Now he is looking at retiring in a year or so and will be able to supplement his income as a sub. He has a good reputation locally.

We both had to let go of the fear of lack to be able to do what we did. And when there were times when my husband wanted to just stop and go find a better paying job, we did not give up. We got by. When I look back, we always got by. I did not understand it at the time. But I fully believed in our path to finish this process and finish our schooling. I make this sound like it was a picnic and that is so untrue. I worried and fretted and there were times when I panicked. I used to think I got to a point where I just crapped out and gave up fighting. What I did was surrendered. I understand that now. And when I did surrender, things worked out. I can see that now in hindsight.

This is the lesson I am learning. If I fight my life and focus on what I do not have, I get more of what I do not want. I have read tons of books on this and it never sank in because I was not ready. I read “The Secret” for example years ago and got nothing out of it but the concept that I lacked the ability to do what they talked about in the book. Ha! So I am experimenting and reevaluating my thinking on the subject of lack. I truly do not lack in my physical world and I know I am very blessed by that. Now I am taking those concepts and applying them deeper. I am not going to share today how and what because, well, I am not sure I can explain it yet.

I am going to share, especially for a special friend who is having a hard time, what I am thinking: Look at what you have and where you want to be and focus on that. Listen to the inner voice and tap into that wisdom. Stop focusing on the negative outcomes and figure out the positive things that could happen. It is a blessing to get a wakeup call as it is a chance to figure out what you do want. Do not approach life from lack but focus on fulfillment. This is something that we all can do and only we can do for ourselves. And yes, I am work in progress.




3 thoughts on “Lacking lack

  1. I knew I would enjoy your post…
    even in this mindlessness drifting state I am in…
    I read a little bit ago, “What do you really want?’
    and I could not answer…the usual is your words live where I don’t have to rob peter to pay paul…
    I will be watching for your sharing of your thoughts on the book you are reading…
    Take Care….You Matter Jane…

Really would like your input.

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