Night Experience

Last night I had a very weird but wonderful experience. It was either profound or I was really out of it. I actually was working on another blog post which I will save for another day. I want to share this experience and get feedback, please.
I was in my garden chair with my computer.The sun had set and the night air was very still. The mosquitoes had calmed down as I experience a flurry of the pests every night for about a half hour. I had been writing for about an hour and then had switched to reading for a bit. I closed the computer and put it away and settled down for my evening meditation and calming before bed. I was not tired and was worried I was going to have trouble calming my mind and sleeping when I went to bed.
The sky was full of stars. I have many solar lights in the garden so there is a cast of soft pools of light everywhere. There is a street light nearby that reflects an orange light into the garden. I often think how lucky I am to have that as I do not need to put a light in the back so I can see. In my favorite bush I wrapped Christmas lights around the center and it gives off a magic carnival feeling in the center of the garden. All around the garden is a privacy fence and since my yard sits lower than my neighbors, it is high and provides complete isolation from them. I could hear a small animal off to my left and heard the squeak of a chipmunk. Bishop was over in his bed and did not stir. All was right with the world and I slipped into my calming breathing and gave thanks.
As I came out of meditation I had a weird sensation. I was very calm but also very alert. The garden seemed electrified. The lights were brighter and all had a haze of sorts around them. The night was not humid or misty at all and I had no recollection of auras before I meditated. I do not usually see auras at all. I leaned back in my chair and gazed up at the stars. I felt this magical connection and yet this profound sense of being miniscule. I watched the stars for a while, looking at the passing satellites and how they looked like slow moving stars. I kept feeling like I was separating from the solidarity of the garden and becoming part of the air at the same time.
I sensed “me” stepping out of my body. I became acutely aware that “I” was not this form that was in the chair. At first, I could feel my body like I was wearing a garment. “I” was not me, this body anymore. It was very powerful because I realized that along with the body was the cellular component of pain and other sensations. My toe was bothering from walking and had been throbbing earlier. “I” was not that pain. I was a separate “thing” from the past and history of this body. There was no future because there was no “me”. I was only a form of vibrating energy, a separate being from the shell that was in the chair. There was no sadness, no worry, just a peace and wholeness contained in this being of vibrating energy. It was nebulous and somehow at the same time, it was also complete. I am not doing this justice with words. I wanted to write about it last night, but I thought better and slept on it to see if it was real. It was. I still sense it.
I looked up at the big tree above me. There is a big branch that reaches for the deck area where I sit. Because of the solar lights, it is lite from underneath. I could see the leaves vividly last night. I just sat a starred at them for a while and noticed they were shimmering. I thought it was the wind. I unfocused and look up at the trees surrounding me and realized there was not an ounce of wind. I settled back at the branch and the shimmering began again. I realized I was seeing the energy of the tree. It was in waves and almost a pulse but not as apparent as that. I had no fear that something was amiss because I was not attached to the brain of the person in the chair. I sensed instead being “of the tree.” Its energy and mine were of the same. I was connected yet separate. I had an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the tree which seems really weird when I write it now. But I knew without “thinking” it that without the tree, I would not be and so it was for the tree. We were both energy sources here to do something on this plane of existence. The tree was making the air the body in the chair needed. Hence, the gratitude, but there was more to the relationship which I struggle to put into words.
In an immediate knowing, I realized the futility of the anguish we put ourselves through. “I” understood that the body is a vehicle so we can accomplish why we were are here. Just like the tree, I am here for a reason. I sensed that I was this energy separate from the body and separate from the brain of the body. I remember “thinking” that it was too bad that the body was not in better shape, but it was what it was for a reason. There was no sadness of anything situational, no doubt, no quandary and no questions. Just this amazing sense of knowing. I felt a rush of my life go by almost like they say you see when you are dying. It was not slide by slide but rather this very quick overview that was separate from this me who was watching it. I know that sounds completely goofy, but it was very freeing actually. All that was, was not who this present being is. It was like sensing someone else’s history. There was no future but just the knowledge of now and a real sense of purpose. “I” sensed some humor and amusement in the energy and a lightness as if I was part of the air and the night. There was no boundary yet “I” was contained. And then it was gone. In a blink, I was in the body again. What I thought was a very short time was actually over a half hour. I had no sense of time when I was separate.
I sat there and thought, “whoa, what was that all about?” The ego brain wanted to fight and say it was not so but there was a residual sense that I knew it was real. I tried to see if I could make myself “do it” again and I could not. But it was ok because I would never be the same anyways. The message was given and I got it. What I felt and sensed was real and all the rest of it is not. It is going to take a while to embrace this new reality. It is peaceful and (I do not know why) humorous to me. There is an inner amusement which is not a strong as joy but along those lines. I do not think I capture the profoundness of this and it is ok because somehow I know it was meant to be just for “me.”


6 thoughts on “Night Experience

  1. Wow what an amazing and profound realisation! I’m reluctant to label but it does sound like a ‘peak experience’ where Oneness is fully known and felt. During those times there is a profound aliveness in all things. I’m so happy for you that you felt this. It is incredibly special.

  2. Oh…what a wonderful gift! You have been studying, seeking and learning…and through that, spiritual matters have been made manifest…and you were at the right place at the right time and your Higher Self knew it was the right moment for the journey. That Higher Self, your true essence, your soul…was able to leave your physical body (astral project), showing you the ultimate gift of knowledge that our physical bodies just house our true selves and that, beyond the physical dimension is the true state of all that is around us, all that we are. It IS possible to reach and understand the true nature of our lives, of the universe, of the trees, etc…and that nature is beyond the physical. Difficult, absolutely, to put into words. (We will talk more!) Blessings for reaching this level. Lovely!

  3. A brush, a glimpse, a suspension of the illusion if only for a few brief moments of “time” as we calculate it . . . to BE, and to SEE what is the only Truth. As you continue to walk the path, I suspect that this will happen more often as the necessary conditions will be in place with greater frequency. But even if it never happens again, it doesn’t matter – you touched the Truth, and realized that You, (with a capital “Y”) are it, and that knowing can never be taken from you. Namaste . . .

  4. Many of us have had this type of experience. Scientists have studied what happens in the brain during such occurrences, but they cannot explain why it happens. It doesn’t matter, you know what you experienced and how it affected your outlook. Hold onto that whether you ever have such an experience again or not. You may long for it, but the more you try to get it back, the further you will push it away. Just appreciate it for what it is. I humbly believe that, for a brief moment, you saw Truth/God/the Self/the Is/whatever you choose to call it. I am neither a teacher nor a seeker, but have had these experiences many times. Even once left me with a sense of knowing that I could never again deny. We are One, you have seen that now. There is no longer a need or even a possibility to ‘believe’ because you know it as an indisputable fact. Now it is merely acceptance that It is what it is. Be at peace and use it for good. My heart goes out to you in a loving embrace. Namaste.

  5. I was totally not sure what happened and I am grateful for your support and guidance. Nothing will ever be the same. And since I really am still absorbing and understanding, I am not going to add anything but Thank you.

  6. what a wonderful description ….you took me/us along with you…
    what a gift to experience…I know that inside laughter…it is pure joy
    for no other reason than “just because I it feels good” or thats how I feel about it
    Thank you for sharing such a wondrous journey Jane….
    Take Care…You Matter…

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