My gratitude roll call took a little doing to put together as I was still in a lot of pain. I am struggling not to whine, and in thinking about what I grateful for will help me. I am really sick of this foot throbbing, especially since there is nothing more that I can do. So I will start with the most obvious thing I was grateful for last week which was my bag of peas. It molds to the foot, or where ever I have had to place it recently, like my knee and my friend’s knee. I pop it back in the fridge and it is ready for the next time. I am grateful for whoever told me about using a bag of peas as an icepack. I am grateful for the doctor who prescribed the pills which seem to be slowing the infection down. It definitely could have been a whole lot worse. Infection is a really nasty creation when left to its own devices. I knew it had spread but the doctor was convinced it was gout underneath. The redness did not show up until after my appointment. I am also grateful that I still have all of my toes. I can bend and flex the left foot and as I sat there last night, I was amazed with the flexibility of my left foot and all that it can do. When God made us, he made an amazing machine. My right foot will get there, soon. I really miss it working right.
I am grateful for my husband who put up with me. He knew something was seriously wrong when he had to take me to the doctors. I do not do that unless I am really in trouble. He has seen me in trouble on a few but rare occasions where I asked to go to the hospital emergency room. I was admitted a couple of times, so I was not screwing around. However, once was the dumbest thing. It was right after we got married and my wedding rings were made too small. Because of the arthritis which was in full bloom, my finger reacted by swelling up very quickly and the rings had to be removed. The Doctor was clever as he saved my finger and the rings. He wound a string from the tip of my finger down to the rings and then pulled them off. He told me up front that it would hurt, and he was not kidding. But he got them off. I had them remade when we could afford it and I am grateful because I am a “material girl”. I have a weakness for good jewelry such as diamonds. My poor husband had to do a lot of fetching for me yesterday as I tried to stay off the foot. He was very kind and I am grateful. I think he also realized how much I do. I always ask him what he would do if I was gone. In his head, I think he thinks he does a lot around here, but….anyways I am grateful for what he does.
I am grateful for the friends who I called on for healing help and advice. I was not sure how well that would fly when I emailed my guide and teacher from my Healing Touch classes. She was honored and sent back an interesting email about the message of the spider. I was instructed to listen for the message, which I did. I also looked up information on spider totems to see what it might mean. Spiders get a bad rap…and this is from someone who is sitting here in pain from one of those little suckers. Myth says you should not kill them as they will bring bad luck, and I never have. I had one living in my back bedroom where I winter plants from my garden. She had plenty to do to keep the travelers that came in with the plants. The spider represents the Grandmother and is a symbol creativity and storyteller and a great teacher. I am not so vain to think I am all that, but she is there to forecast something to me in a message. Her web represents the world and the flexibility and strength needed to live a good life. I listened last night, and again the pain was winning and I am not clear on the message. My friend also told me that the message is about connection. She referred to combining the use of spiritual and medicinal healing and that the spider connects both worlds. She also said that the lesson included the fact that I asked for help. She is very wise because she knew instinctually I do not ask for help often. She said that asking is big because it empowers those we ask. We cannot give if we do not understand receiving. I admit, I rather give and so there is a lesson in this. I am very grateful for my new guide and the circle of wonderful women who are connected with her. I see this also as a new web I am building. The spider represents the female and that all fits nicely.
I am also grateful for all the wonderful responses I got on my last post. One from Barbara was very uplifting. She says that “the spider represents the unknown which we fear.” She is correct. One of the things I am working on is letting go and trusting that all will be fine. I do not need to fear the unknown, because as Barbara said; “going beyond our human limitations and trusting… To heal means to be whole… which we all truly are and once we feel this in ourselves we can relax and enjoy our life… creating whatever it is our heart desires… and radiating this out to others…” What beautiful words and advice. I am very grateful.
I am back to work this morning after five days off. I am grateful for my job in many ways. Even though there are tough days, I enjoy what I do and have a lot of lovely people I work with. I even mended my relationship with the person who was causing me a lot of issues. I am to the wise with her but I hated the rift and nastiness that was going on. So I must move on this morning. In closing, I wish peace and gratitude for all those who follow me. You heal me and give me strength. Thanks.