The wind is out of my sails this morning. It is ok. I was all set to write a long essay on my current rant, but the energy has deflated. I sense a lot of sadness, not so much with me, but in general. As if the world is sighing. Last night, as I try to do every night, I snuggled down into my garden chair and just listened to the voice in my head. I began to cry. I was not certain why, but sensed a need so I let the tears flow. I felt weary and have for the past few days. I truly will take weary over the way I used to feel which was terrified.
So this morning, having a longer moment to myself than I would, I thought I would continue on with my campaign for SAID. But I am not feeling it. What I am feeling is compassion and concern. It feels like so much is loose and out of whack. I cannot explain it better than that. Today would have been my mother’s 92nd birthday, but she left the physical world 35 years ago. Tonight I will honor her with a ritual that was recommended to help heal me as well. But I do not think that is what is bothering me as I have been planning this for a while. Maybe it is a cosmic shift. I am not sure, as it is not something I am feeling just in me, but more about others.
Many of my friends are struggling. Their concerns include health issues, work issues, monetary and family concerns, and fear…just general fear. It is close to me as my husband is worried about his employment situation. I had a celebration last weekend that turned to a disaster. My inner voice says there were lessons being taught, but that does not eliminate my feeling of guilt over having a retched evening. I hate to see people I care about struggle and suffer. But I am wise enough to know to let them heal on their own as then and only then, will the healing truly be theirs. All I can do is offer words of encouragement, avenues of learning, and a hug to let them know they are not alone.
So for this morning, this is all I am offering. I have no qualms above saying I love you to people and so I do now. If it helps to those who know me personally and read this post, I am a phone call away and lunch is on me. For those who are not in my physical world, I too care deeply for you and send you abundant light and love. May peace be your companion.