“When you find yourself in unfamiliar seas:
Keep a look out for shore birds to navigate by but, as you get close to the island watch for reefs, keep your nose pointed towards the cut and stay positive. If you run aground, slow down, look around, make a plan, plug the hole and look for a better way.” – John Borden, 2013
I feel like a kindergartner who has landed themselves in a brand new world. With tenuous steps, my mouth agape I look around in wonderment. Where was this? Why did I not know about all this? And the “this” I am referring to is the world of possibilities.
After coming through a tunnel, blindly navigating rocks and mud pits, I can see the light. When I first typed this, I thought: “oh how trite those words are.” But I will stick with the metaphor and bear the criticism.
This new land of opportunities used to have fences and a locked gate. I thought the payment for entry was impossible for me. The fee was self-confidence and lack of fear. I have the minimum of each, but enough to pass through. The gatekeeper is the voices in my head which I am learning can be trained to sing a different song.
We develop our sense of the world by those who we surround ourselves with. My old world since birth was filled with angry naysayers who reveled in judgment and hatred of others. Their poison had no antidote and the only solution was extrication. The separation was devastating and it has taken me a very long time to even realize how toxic I was. These toxins had destroyed my health and if left unabated I know I would have been dead by now, if not naturally, by my own hand.
It is not that I started yesterday on this journey. It truth, it has been twelve years. There have been many people who have been placed in my path to guide and support me as well as those who have impeded me. That’s life. The lesson is to learn to trust and with so many misjudgments on my part of the people I have entrusted; it is not an easy thing for me to do. The skill I am still learning is to feel and sense, carefully love and trust but not have expectations. The only expectations we can really control are the ones we place on ourselves. Mine, especially the ones I have placed on myself, have demanded too much and I am learning to temper the disappointment with acceptance.
I am stunned as to how many people are in this world of possibilities. A newly discovered country for me is the blog world. I am in awe of the writing of so many talented authors whose authentic stories of hope and struggle are there to inspire. Their virtual strength allays my fears and offers a digital hand up when I falter and stumble. Some may say that this is not a viable resource as the anonymity prohibits any real connection. The bible is only words bound into to a format for reading. Hieroglyphics may have been the prehistoric blog posts of some soothsayer of its time. Writing is not a new form of communication. What is different is the power and speed of reaching thousands of people at a time and reaping the immediate feedback of your message from total strangers who are passengers on a similar journey. The sense of community, although not physical in its actual contact, has no geographical or ethnical boundaries. It is a powerful circuit complete in its connection.
The world of possibilities supports the land of opportunities. The fields are filled with new ventures; the roads are numerous in their uncharted pathways. I need to be aware, especially in my innocence, of dangers and thieves. I need to circumnavigate the swamps of depression and the mire of anger. I need to board the ship of confidence and cross the waters of ambition. I need to be ready to face the storms by bravely facing into the wind. But with brand new shoes that will still hurt my feet at times, I step off the plane and onto the street called Hope.